The Postpartum Feeling No One Talks About: Rage
When we imagine the postpartum period, most of us picture sleepy snuggles, messy buns, and quiet tears. But what happens when the tears aren't quiet—when they're furious, loud, and hot with anger?
Enter: postpartum rage.
It’s a form of postpartum mood disorder that doesn’t get the airtime it deserves. And for many parents—especially neurodivergent ones—it can be the symptom that’s hardest to name and the easiest to shame.
What Is Postpartum Rage?
Postpartum rage is more than just being “cranky” or “irritable.” It’s a sudden, intense anger that seems to come out of nowhere. You might find yourself yelling, slamming doors, feeling out of control—or just seething in silence while your baby screams and your partner loads the dishwasher wrong. Again.
The truth is: 1 in 5 new parents experience symptoms of postpartum rage. But unlike postpartum depression or anxiety, rage doesn’t often show up in checklists or casual conversations at playgroup.
That doesn't mean it's not valid. Or real. Or worthy of support.
Why Postpartum Rage Happens
Rage is not a personal failure. It’s not because you’re a bad mom, or “too sensitive,” or broken.
It’s your nervous system throwing up a red flag. It’s the crash of sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, overstimulation, unmet needs, and invisible labor. It’s your brain saying, this is too much.
For neurodivergent parents, these layers can be even more intense. Sensory overload, executive dysfunction, and a history of masking can make you feel like you’re holding it together—until you’re not.
And still, many people suffer in silence, unsure if what they’re feeling is “normal” or if it’s okay to ask for help.
Let me say this clearly: it is okay. And you’re not alone.
What Rage Might Look Like
Snapping at your partner over tiny things
Feeling out of control but not knowing why
Ruminating on how no one helps you
Crying because you don’t want to be mad, but you are
Slamming a cupboard door and then instantly regretting it
Feeling like you don’t recognize yourself
What Can Help
Here’s what I want every new parent to know:
You are not failing. You are full. And full people need support—not shame.
Support can look like:
Talking to a therapist or perinatal mental health specialist
Getting more sleep (if you can) or finding ways to reduce stimulation
Having someone take the baby for an hour while you reset
Connecting with a doula who gets it—who won’t flinch when you say, I felt so angry today I scared myself.
You Deserve to Feel Safe in Your Own Skin Again
At TENDER.LY, I hold space for the hard stuff. For the not-so-pretty feelings. For the realities that don’t fit the Instagram highlight reel. Whether it’s unpacking rage, reshaping support, or simply making a plan for more breathing room—you don’t have to do this alone.
👉 Book a 1:1 Postpartum Support Call today, and let’s talk about what’s really going on beneath the surface. No judgment. Just real support.
This blog was written by Alix, a dedicated doula in Montreal, Canada, and the founder of TENDER.LY. She provides expert pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and infant feeding support to help families feel confident and cared for. Whether you're preparing for birth, navigating the fourth trimester, or looking for feeding guidance, Alix offers compassionate, personalized support.